Detached
by Adligo
Summary: This story takes place after book 7 : Calling, gives us an alternitive path on which she chooses what to do with her life now....without Hunter.
1. Default Chapter

"What have I done?" I couldn't believe it, I had just finished with the one person I have ever felt completely in love with. He's gone, how stupid am I?….Wait. Ciaran. The name rang around in my head. Ciaran. My father. He was evil personified, he represented everything I knew and hated. About Magick, about Wicca. But was he?. I was so confused. Hunter didn't believe he was. He had saved me in a way. Setting Hunter free to save me, he wasn't able to kill his own daughter. Me. But he had killed my mother, his own muirn beatha dan, soul mate. How could he.  
  
When I finally got home, Mum was in the kitchen I vaguely heard her greet me, but all I wanted to do was sulk. I ran to my room, slamming the door behind me. Hot stinging tears already streaming down my face. I sat on the edge of my bed. I physically aced, Hunter was gone, and I had been the one to do it. If not in the world, in my heart. I had extinguished the flame, I'd had to, for him. I did it for him, I couldn't bare it, if I hurt him again. I loved him. But I coucldn't be with him. It was simple.  
  
I was poison. I had bad blood, evil blood. Pure Woodbane, dark magick, it explained so much, how I was so carefree with spells, how they went wrong, how I hurt everyone I loved just by existing. And I did love. I loved Hunter.  
  
I just wanted to crawl up and die, hide away from everyone I loved and who loved me. Away from Hunter.  
  
"Honey" My mum called cautiously upstairs. "Are you o.k.?" she had love in her voice. The love I had to forget. I didn't answer I wasn't sure I was capable of speaking right now. My throat was sore from sobbing, and she would probably be able to tell I was anything but 'o.k.' from my croaky voice. I heard her slowly plod up the stairs, and tap on the door. I quickly turned to face away from the door, so she wouldn't see my tear stained face, I desperately tried to control my wild sobs  
  
"Honey?" she took a step in the door, I felt her warmth, it soothed me, and I let myself absorb it. "Is it Hunter?" she knew me so well. She loved me, and had raised me as her own.  
  
She wasn't my Mum, not my real one, but I loved her just the same. I had to resist the love, that clasped at me I so dearly wanted to grasp it and hold on for all it was worth, be loved, feel the joy of someone else caring for me, but I couldn't it would only end with heartache. My heritage took care of that.  
  
"I'm o.k." I rasped, barely more than a whisper. I coughed taking control of my tears. I had to be strong if this was going to work at all. "I'm o.k." I said again in a stronger voice.  
  
"Alright" she said, it was clear between us that I wasn't willing to talk about it. Not just now. Or ever I thought. " Me and your Dad are going out tonight, with your Aunt Eileen, and Paula. Mary k. is at Jaycee's are you going to be alright by yourself?" I nodded. She waited a second then shut the door. I let out a sigh. Finally alone, I would have to get used to the feeling. Alone. By myself only then could I make sure no one would get hurt. Ever.  
  
A while past and I felt Mum and Dad leave. The door closing behind them. I started crying again. The realism hit me, I was alone and I couldn't stand it, just thinking about being lonely and hollow scared me. I would never feel another person's love again. This was it. My life. But was I strong enough to keep it this way. Would I give in to love, I couldn't risk it.  
  
I desperately raked my brain for a way to detach myself from the world. Was there a spell to enclose my emotions. If there was I didn't have it. I realised I couldn't waste time finding one. I had to get out of here.....I had to leave. 


	2. Gone

Within minutes I had starting packing, I ruthlessly chucked clothes into my bag, anything, the bare minimum. I scrambled down stairs, and thrust the contents of the fridge into the bag. I zipped the bag and was half way out, when my eye caught on my Mum's pierce, lying on the side board. Money. I would need some. I grabbed it with wild eyes. I undid the front flap and saw the notes folded neatly inside. I took them, held them in my hand. Could I do this? Steel from my own mother? I had a sudden flash of guilt. I guess I was evil, I was disgusted that the thought had even crossed my mind. I was just proving everything I knew about myself. I was tainted.  
  
I quickly threw the money in my bag and fled from the house. With one last look at everything that was familiar to me, everything that represented love, the things I loved, the people I loved. Goodbye, I thought as I started the engine and pulled out the drive...  
  
I sped down the street, forgetting spped and time, I just needed to get away. It was the only way they could be safe from me. The only way  
  
Thoughts flew through my head, was I over-reacting, could I saty in town? Did I really have to lead. Then Hunter, his face a perfect picture, and then came tears, un-controlable to the point that I couldn't see. I hastely pulled over, to the side of the road.  
  
What was I doing? Leaving...oh yeah that was mature. That was running away from my problems, and if Witchcraft had taught me anything these past months is that problems mever go away. I would have to face up to this some time..  
  
Where was I going to go anyway? I didn't have anywhere else, Widow's vale was my home and just because Ciaran was my father didn't make it any different. Adventually the sensibal Morgan returned and again took over my body. This was silly running away? Who was I foolingy I new nothing about the outside world. I'd probably end up dead after a few days.  
  
After convincing myself that my friends and family were in no imidiate danger and that I was focused enough to be able to controll myself not to fall for Hunter and let things slip, I heard a tap on the window. I nearly jumped - I had been so consumed in my own thoughts.  
  
There stood Hunter, his eyes pleaded with me to let him in. I took a deep sigh to calm myself. I could do this I thought. and opened the passenger door. 


	3. Reasurance

"Morgan, we need to talk" He started, very controllingly. His well trained self control was working well, but I oculd tell his thoughts were as wild as mine.  
  
"Do we, I thought I'd said all I needed to" I stated blankly, my tone was cold. But it was the only way I could stop myself from loosing myself and jumping him there and then.  
  
He connected with my eyes. He had been trying to the second he got in, but I had sucessfully withdrawn from drowning in his eyes, the way I loved to do. But he caught my off- guard and I saw the love and lust in them. Oh Hunter I thought, Don't make this harder than it allready is.  
  
"I don't believe you don't love me" he said very self-assuringly I thought. I let out a grunt trying to get him to blow, it would be easy to shout and ball if he would only anrgue, but that wasn't Hunter he barley ever let things aniy him. That was one of the things I loved most about him. "Morgan..." he begun, but I put my finger to his lips, shushing him ,I could tell by his tone he was going to tell my he loved me and I don't think I could hear that. If I did I would be in his arms, it would only take a moment and I would have to leave him again, realizing nothing had changed and Ciaran was stil my father. I felt a tugg in my t=ummy everytime he popped into my head. It still wasn't quite real. Ciran. My Father.  
  
"Don't, It's over..  
  
"But..."Hunter tryed  
  
"It has to be" I finished, looking him deep in the eye, reasurring him - well trying to - that I was serious and that It needed to be over between us.  
  
Hunter seemed to give up. He looked away, then down at the floor, I watched as his eyes flickered on my packed bag at his feet. His brow furrowed and he looked at my with a fierce expression. "So your leaving. this is your plan, running away" he spoke atrongly almost loosing his normal control.  
  
I shook my head. "I was, I freeked, but I can't It's not right. I see this now" I said confessing.  
  
Hunter, relaxed a little. "It would never be the way, running away wouldn't help, and people here love you, people here need you, I need you" his tone melowing towards the end and I couldn't be angry at him. Not for one more second. My eyes lingered on his lips, they were irrisistable. Just one more kiss, I thought, would it really hurt.  
  
I quickly shook myself up, another kiis? that would be heaven but what if it wouldn't stop there. I'd want more, and I couldn't have it. "I know, Hunter, I know. I can't leave, but we can't be together either. That's just the way it is. o.k.? so deal. Go and get over me" where was this coming from I thought, these words were ruthless and It hurt tosay them but I had to make him hate me. "Goodbye Hunter" I looked out of my window. Hunter stared at me for a while trying to make me look at him, but I resisted, then he opened his door and was gone as quick as he had come. 


End file.
